Final: Celtics 108, Knicks 97

You might wanna swallow a couple of Prilosecs before reading this article, because I'm about to hit you with some hot takes regarding the Boston Celtics.

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They're a bunch of jerks, and I don't like them.

The Celtics rolled the Knicks on Tuesday night at MSG, 108-97. Avery Bradley played like a tiny Paul Pierce, dropping 26 points on 11-14 shooting.

Jared Sullinger also had a dynamite performance,  with 22 points, nine rebounds and six assists. On a related note, the Chinese have saying for a woman with a massive booty: 生儿子的屁股 -- literally "an ass that will bear a son." Jared Sullinger has a 生儿子的屁股.

As for the Knicks, Carmelo Anthony scored 21 points on 9-23 shooting. His health is still the team's number one priority right? Right?

Losing to these filthy green devils is never easy to take, but we can take comfort in our massive advantage in lottery odds. If the Celtics end up picking ahead of us -- and they probably will -- then we riot.

Stingy will have the recap shortly.