Hi! The Knicks are off again today, so I want to bring back a discussion we were having in the comments the other day. New York is probably going to be in the lottery. Pessimistic, I know, but I don't think a 10-39 team is going to end up making the playoffs. So for the first time in six years, the Knicks will seat a representative in New York on May 19th for the annual pulling of ping-pong balls. Who should it be? This is extremely important.
First, some history. Here's everyone the Knicks have ever sent to a draft lottery:
1985: Dave DeBusschere- The Knicks got the first pick and announced they would select Patrick Ewing right there at the lottery. Everyone agrees this was a fair and uncontroversial lottery. It was the lucky horseshoe, that's all.
1986: Scotty Stirling and a rabbit- The Knicks GM brought a "live spotted rabbit named Lucky Pierre" with him to the Grand Hyatt Hotel when he couldn't secure a suitable horseshoe, but the Knicks ended up with the fifth pick (Kenny Walker). Remember, the lottery was unweighted until 1990.
2002: Scott Layden- It was supposed to be Spike Lee, but the league wouldn't allow a non-team employee to serve as representative. The Knicks got the 7th pick, which turned out to be Nene, who immediately got traded for Antonio McDyess in a very good deal nobody regrets.
2003: Allan Houston- The Knicks got the 9th pick. LeBron James did not drop that far, but Mike Sweetney did. Even better!
2005: John Starks- Starks' commemorative Dave DeBusschere pin couldn't move the Knicks up, and they ended up taking Channing Frye with the 8th pick.
2008: Mike D'Antoni: D'Antoni had to watch the Bulls-- the job he turned down for the Knicks-- get the 1st pick and the opportunity to select Derrick Rose while his team got 6th. They took Danilo Gallinari, the best shooter D'Antoni had ever seen!
2009: Allan Houston and Reggie Jackson- Houston tried the human good luck charm this time, but the Knicks ended up with the 8th pick and Jordan Hill. Sometimes I'm happy the Knicks missed Stephen Curry by one pick, just because he probably would have gotten traded or run out of town because of his early struggles and ankle problems.
Yeah, not that many lotteries, partly because the Knicks were once good, and partly because they were once very bad at being bad. We won't talk about what happened in the years another team held New York's lottery balls. We'll just look ahead. Who should be the representative this year? (I'm not sure what the rules are now about team employment, but let's just open it up and leave that trouble to the Knicks and the league. They can always just give someone a pretend job for the sake of lottery luck, right?)
Carmelo Anthony/Derek Fisher/Phil Jackson- Obvious, but this is important business.
Steve Mills- I mean, he is the GM, right? Can't we let Steve do something? If the Knicks win the lottery, that would be such a big moment for him! And if they do poorly, blame Steve!
Pablo Prigioni- Sneaky, can probably steal balls out of the lottery machine to improve New York's odds.
Patrick Ewing- Yeah, he's an employee of another (possibly lottery) team, but pay it forward, man. It's the 30th anniversary.
Hologram Dave DeBusschere- No explanation needed. Makes perfect sense.
David Stern, holding an ice bucket- SHOW ME A RULE THAT SAYS THIS ISN'T ALLOWED.
Spike Lee- I don't want this, but I feel like there was some cosmic shift when Spike got shut down in '02. Maybe we need to reverse that.
Taylor Swift- New York's own! Huge Knicks Fan!!!!!
Emmy Rossum- The above, but actually. (Joe points out SHE HAS ALREADY AGREED TO THIS. IT'S DONE. MAKE IT SO, KNICKS.)
Ryan and Jaylah- The Knicks Kid Reporters are easily the most competent, successful members of the organization. They're great enough to influence probability.
Hologram Ted Stepien- We probably owe the Knicks still having this pick to him, after all.
Purpletie Broman- He was amazed at J.R. Smith's air-balled free throw that one time, and I just think he's got the right spirit and attire for the occasion.
Nick Gilbert- Abduct the kid who keeps winning it for the Cavs. Obvious move.
Me- I just want the Knicks to know I would happily do it.
An olive- Why not?
Isiah Thomas- I dunno, reverse psychology? That wasn't my idea. You said it, not me. You just said it. That was you who said Isiah Thomas. You typed that there. This is your blog post that you wrote.
Late addition/suggestion: Desus and Mero- Can't believe I forgot them.
Who should it be? Who else do you suggest?