Now that the lottery odds have been decided, P&T is in full cultic religion mode. Occasionally throughout the weeks leading up to the May 19th lottery, I will ask you to appease the basketball gods with me. Previously, we froze envelopes. Those envelopes should still be in your freezers. Today, you're gonna need another envelope.
This is going to be the highest pick the Knicks have had in a while. They're going to have a top-5 pick for the first time since 1986. Part of that is because New York has traded future picks that ended up being really good. Part of that is because the Knicks haven't fully tanked (tunk?) when they held their own pick, and ended up drafting somewhere in the middle of the lottery, where they've missed on the obvious gems and passed on the less obvious ones.
Because this has happened repeatedly over several decades, the players the Knicks did end up acquiring have been subject to some undue hostility from fans. It's not Frederic Weis's fault the Knicks snuck into the playoffs, then chose him over Ron Artest. It's not Jordan Hill's fault or Danilo Gallinari's fault that Stephen Curry, Kevin Love, and Russell Westbrook went the picks before them. It's not Antonio McDyess's fault the Knicks traded for him on draft day. It's not Mike Sweetney's fault the Knicks were merely bad in a season it would have LeBroned them to be awful.
We've done some booing. We've done some grumbling about our misfortune. We have, at times, done some unfair blaming. But I think it is important for these men to know they bear no responsibility for the Knicks' screwy draft history, and even more important for the almighty basketball gods who govern the lottery and look very handsome today, I might add, to know we are decent, forgiving people who deserve a tip-top pick.
So I suggest we write letters to smooth things over. I wrote mine to Jordan Hill, but you can send yours to whomever you please, lottery pick or otherwise, as long as earning his forgiveness makes sense for this exercise. Let him know it's not his fault the Knicks have been bad for the better part of two decades without benefitting from the lottery. Here were the steps I took:
1. Write heartfelt letter to Jordan Hill:
2. Put letter in envelope and address it to the Lakers practice facility so it will end up in Jordan Hill's hands:
(This may be tougher for you if your recipient's workplace doesn't have a public address. I think if you're writing to Frederic Weis, just address it to FRANCE and they'll know where to find him.)
Remember a stamp.
2a. Make sure Wayne Ellington doesn't get it.
Wayne Ellington's always snatching mail. Even if you're not writing to the Lakers, I recommend taking this step as a precaution.
3. Mail letter:
That's it! A simple way to make a bad Knicks lottery pick feel better and improve our standing in the eyes of the omniscient, omnipotent basketball gods. Please join and share your work with the group.