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Steve Mills will represent the Knicks on lottery night, crush our souls

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Joe Camporeale-USA TODAY Sports

Hey there, Knicks fans! Were you hoping to get the No. 1 overall pick in next Tuesday's all-important NBA draft lottery?

WELL TOO DAMN BAD!

Look, I don't hold any personal animosity toward Steve Mills. I'm sure he's a perfectly fine human being. But he is the very essence of the old Knicks regime, and that old Knicks regime is never going to win the lottery in a million years.

I thought the whole reason Dolan brought Phil Jackson on board -- other than that whole "competence" thing -- was to use his Zen Master powers to change the dark cloud that has been hanging over this franchise. Well lottery night is the ultimate test of those powers. And you hand the responsibility to Steve freakin' Mills? Unacceptable.

What's worse, we here at P&T already went through the trouble of finding the perfect lottery representative in Hollywood starlet and down-ass Knicks fan Emmy Rossum:

It's bad enough you have to hurt us, Knicks -- why must you also insult Emmy?

And so the Knicks will pick 5th in the June draft. Mills will sit there like a goober while our dreams are crushed. We had better get used to it.

Update:

Emmy agrees.