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Robin Lopez and the other 3 Knicks free agents sign on the tiny table

Now is your moment to shine, little table.

The New York Knicks have a tradition unlike any other...I'm referring, of course, to the tiny table. Every summer, massive basketball players hunch awkwardly over a coffee table and sign away their professional lives to the Knicks.

The table got quite a workout Thursday, courtesy of Robin Lopez, Arron Afflalo, Kyle O'Quinn (via sign-and-trade and second-round pick swap), Derrick Williams and Derrick Williams' hair (via Derrick Williams' scalp):

Of note: according to his shirt, Kyle O'Quinn has a girlfriend. And that girlfriend's name is "basketball."

The impact of these signings have reverberated throughout the sports world; even the Seattle Mariners are wishing Lopez the best of luck:

After the signing party, the front office communicated their satisfaction through a press release.

Here's a quote from Phil Jackson:

"We are fortunate to add these four new players to our roster. They bring to the team veteran leadership, talent and youth. These men, in addition to our rookies from the NBA Draft, will make for a very competitive team this coming year. We are all looking forward to the season, as we welcome them to the New York Knicks 2015-16 roster."

Here's a quote from Steve Mills:

"We addressed our primary needs this offseason by adding size and versatility – players who complement each other and those that are returning from last year’s roster. We are all looking forward for these new players to mesh together to form our team."

And, finally, here's a quote from the tiny table:


SIKE! Tables can't talk, yo.