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Report: The Knicks will play Brazilian club Bauru in October

Adriana Lima + Kristaps Porzingis = Adrianaps? Kristiana?

Erich Schlegel-USA TODAY Sports

Like many of you, I would sell my very soul for a few minutes of sweet, sweet preseason basketball. Well we're in luck, folks, because the Knicks are apparently deeply involved in negotiations to play a preseason game against Brazilian club Bauru, according to the news site UOL:

As partes ainda evitam falar abertamente sobre o assunto, mas as negociações já estão em fase avançada e o anúncio ocorrerá na terça-feira da próxima semana (11/08), de acordo com pessoas próximas à NBA ouvidas pela reportagem.

O calendário, inclusive, já está definido: Bauru entrará em quadra nos dias 7 e 11 de outubro para enfrentar New York Knicks e Washington Wizards.

Sounds good to me! A quick run through Google Translate suggests that the official announcement will come next Tuesday. Bauru, the 2015 FIBA Americas League champions will face the Knicks and Wizards. My Portuguese is a bit rusty, so I can't tell if they'll be playing in America or Brazil. My guess is that they're playing here in the States -- Kevin Seraphin would have a hard time getting his pet snake through customs.

Why does it make sense for the Knicks to play a Brazilian team? The country is known throughout the world as the home of supermodels, and the 'Bockers employ the Latvian mack himself, Kristaps Porzingis. Remember when Adriana Lima was married to Marko Jaric for a few years and the world made no goddamn sense? You better believe the Zinger is ready to hit her up with some traditional Latvian pickup lines: