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Training Camp Day 2: Knicks on a roll

Knicks just keep on cookin'!

William Hauser-USA TODAY Sports

Welp, there ya have it. Two days down, no losses on the ledger. The Knicks are throwing salt on the game's wounds right now! I wonder how long they can keep this going? Surely Robert Randolph was not granted access to West Point where he could easily hex an entire battalion with one major chord. Perish the thought. Let us not concern ourselves with that nasty man any longer.

I'm sure you're curious how the Knicks have been able to find so much success up to this point. One major reason might be that man in the middle, Robin Lopez. Does the big boss player Carmelo Anthony have any thoughts? Why yes, he does.

Amazing what winning does to one's perception. The Friday night curse is still a few days away. Hopefully these new recruits are not susceptible to such evil wizardry. They will probably all reject that wretched Triangle. Gotta start somewhere.

Once again, back is the incredible Robin animal. Yo, what does this guy know about spacing the floor? It's not like he played for a terrific offensive team that had an elite post scorer that gets criticized for holding the ball too long on offense. The craziness has got to stop with this sideshow freak. No one cuts around the post player anymore! No functioning NBA system can utilize a side pick and roll in a half court set and survive! Take it from me, fro baby, I've been there.

We'll never win the championships we slaughtered all those lambs for with Lopez having such a bad attitude. He needs to be a major hub for which our stars to orbit. I don't know man. George is getting upset.

Well yea. Why else would you be in the position you're in if your ultimate goal wasn't the ultimate goal? I know that one is gonna get wrapped around a lamp post on a foggy night, but hey. Eyes on the proverbial prize, guys. You know what? This team is getting along too swimmingly. They're too chummy. Maybe if there was some sort of perceived drama to light some fires around the camp we could get out of this satanic Triangle.

Oh perfect, so Fisher is just gonna stop talking and Phil Jackson is going to psychically channel each player and chessboard this shit straight to the championship. I get it, I'm down with that. I keeps it simple, Berg-dog. I would even go so far as to say: I find that somewhat impressive. So let's see that no-talkin stuff live and direct. Or at least in the internet's digital flesh.

Whoa-ho-ho! Easy now. Fisher is not talking? How can you even tell? There is so much shouting and sneakers squealing. Coach is just trying to save his voice for the regular season if anything. I can't make out a single word, but they are most definitely talking there. Fisher must be communicating to them somehow. I wonder how he does it!? Telepathically?

Oh! He grows a beard and can now utilize the dark arts of mind control. This type of voodoo has never been seen before on the basketball court! Fascinating.

Wait. So is he talking, or is he not talking? I can't make demon-heads nor demon-tails of this. No wonder the Knicks are impenetrable. Go to your happy place, demon. I shall use you yet!