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P&T Science Project: How do Jerian Grant's step-back jumpers affect living organisms?

How do Grant's step-back J's affect living organisms?

Elsa/Getty Images

Since the dawn of time, mankind has yearned to discover the answer to one simple question: Do Jerian Grant step-back jumpers really give life?

Thankfully, young Mr. Grant was confident that he could provide science with a sample:

True to his word, Grant rained step-back J's on the Boston Celtics in Tuesday night's win. We here at P&T Labs have collected several specimens and exposed them to various living creatures in search of a definitive physiological response.

Look at what happens when I showed this clip to a member of the species Canis lupus familiaris:

Clearly, the canine has a pep in his step, but Grant's jumper didn't give him what we could demonstrably term as "life."

Perhaps his jumper has some regenerative powers. I showed the clip to Kuli the one-eyed cat. Let's see if it produces some kind of response:

A photo posted by @kulithesurfingcat on

A photo posted by @kulithesurfingcat on

Great Scott! The cat may not have regrown his eye, but he suddenly developed the ability to surf. Fascinating!

For my final experiment, I needed a far more potent Grant step-back:

I pointed this video toward the soil near a dead log. The effect on the local mushroom population was startling:

In conclusion, Jerian Grant step-backs have a fairly complex set of reactions: They cause mushrooms to grow,dogs to prance, and cats to surf. Now please give me my Nobel Prize.