Since the dawn of time, mankind has yearned to discover the answer to one simple question: Do Jerian Grant step-back jumpers really give life?
Thankfully, young Mr. Grant was confident that he could provide science with a sample:
Coming soon. RT @_SugarFree5: @JerianGrant I need to see a few more step back jumpers young boss..... They give me life— Jerian Grant (@JerianGrant) January 9, 2016
True to his word, Grant rained step-back J's on the Boston Celtics in Tuesday night's win. We here at P&T Labs have collected several specimens and exposed them to various living creatures in search of a definitive physiological response.
Look at what happens when I showed this clip to a member of the species Canis lupus familiaris:
This dog's walk is glorious (repost because the gif didn't work) pic.twitter.com/W99bkKYP8Z— Oso Polar (@ElOsoPolar10) January 3, 2016
Clearly, the canine has a pep in his step, but Grant's jumper didn't give him what we could demonstrably term as "life."
Perhaps his jumper has some regenerative powers. I showed the clip to Kuli the one-eyed cat. Let's see if it produces some kind of response:
Great Scott! The cat may not have regrown his eye, but he suddenly developed the ability to surf. Fascinating!
For my final experiment, I needed a far more potent Grant step-back:
I pointed this video toward the soil near a dead log. The effect on the local mushroom population was startling:
In conclusion, Jerian Grant step-backs have a fairly complex set of reactions: They cause mushrooms to grow,dogs to prance, and cats to surf. Now please give me my Nobel Prize.