The New York Knicks take on the Los Angeles Clippers Friday night, which means a chance to snap a six-game losing streak in this rivalry or face the specter of that rat bastard Doc Rivers sending out Mike Woodson for another spite-fueled post-game press conference.
But I can't even pretend to care about any of that. This game shall be the story of one man, and one man alone:
Pablo Prigioni will make his glorious return to MSG.
This is big, people. At the risk of venturing into the realm of hyperbole, Pablo was the greatest human being ever to wear a Knicks uniform, and if you don't agree you are worse than Hitler.
The magical Argentine point guard was traded to Houston at least year's deadline and signed with the Clippers in the offseason -- God's way of counteracting the bitchiness of Chris Paul and Austin Rivers.
How should Knicks fans honor Pablo? If you're going to the game tonight, you should adhere to the following protocols:
- Chant his name at every available opportunity.
- If you're wearing a Knicks jersey, cover the back with a printout of this:
- Women should throw their panties.
- Men should wear panties to the game, then throw them.
As for the rest of us, it is imperative that we do not ice down our blogging/commenting finger; Pablo never uses ice! While you're at it, watch this Pablosneak highlights:
The entire P&T staff debated a variety of sneak-related tributes to the Sneakmaster:
Charles Osborn: "Generally, to sneak. Sneak out of work. Sneak into your house or apartment with no one noticing. He was so sneaky."
Joe: "I was thinking sneaking food out of other people's shopping carts at the pre-blizzard grocery blitz."
Jon Schulman: "Pablo was such a sweetheart tho. Maybe you should sneak food INTO other people's shopping carts.
Matt Miranda: "Kristaps Porzingis should sneak Pablo into his locker after the game. When Doc Rivers gets to wondering where he is, the Knicks play see/speak/hear no evil, then announce the Clips gotta get the hell outta MSG ASAP 'cuz of the storm coming. To throw 'em off the trail further, before the game (since Friday night is the dump spot for news releases) NY announces they've signed Scooty Blends. Tomorrow night, Pablo's on the bench in a "Blends" jersey, rocking the Bobby Valentine mustache."
Seth: "(That Vine up at the top)"
Feel free to use any and all of these. And remember, if you love Pablo, you must set him free. If Pablo never returns, it was never meant to be; if Pablo comes back, you'll stay together forever.