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The Westchester Knicks select Max Hooper, real basketball person, in the D-League draft

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He totally exists! I looked it up!

NCAA Basketball: Oakland at Georgia Dale Zanine-USA TODAY Sports

Sunday marked the single greatest event in sports history — the D-League draft. The Westchester Knicks stole the show last year season by drafting Jimmer Fredette. The organization chose 16th Sunday; there’s no way they can top the excitement of Jimmermania with so a low pick, right?

Max Hooper! He really exists, yo! From the W-Knicks’ official press release:

Hooper averaged 10.7 points per game on 45 percent from beyond the arc his senior year without making a single shot within the perimeter. He currently stands as the only player in NCAA history to attempt over 200 three-pointers without attempting a two-point shot. Hooper began his collegiate career at Harvard and transferred to St. John’s before spending his final two years of eligibility with Oakland.

Over 200 three-pointers with ZERO two-point attempts? That’s just how Max Hooper rolls. You don’t snuggle with Max Hooper; you strap yourself in and feel the G’s.

Please update the following song by replacing “Max Power” with “Max Hooper”:

Max Hooper, he’s the man with the name you’d love to toucccccchhhhh.

But you mustn’t touccccccchhhhhhhhhhhh.

His name sounds good in your ear.

But when you say it, you mustn’t fear.

Cuz his name can be said by anyonnnnnnnnnnnnnne.

Oh yeah, the W-Knicks also picked up some other dudes:

That last guy definitely isn’t the same dude who wrote the “Ghostbusters” song — that was Ray Parker Jr.

Max Hooper and the W-Knicks start their season on Nov. 12th.