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Did Carmelo Anthony attend the Triangle seminar: An investigation

I dunno...or do I?

By Joe Flynn
Adam Hunger-USA TODAY Sports

Hey everybody, remember that time I told y'all that Carmelo Anthony attended Phil Jackson's Triangle seminar? Yeah ... um ... about that ...

Per Ian Begley:

There are conflicting reports about Carmelo Anthony's presence at Phil Jackson's optional triangle meetings this week. The New York Post reported that Anthony did not attend the meetings. The New York Daily News reported earlier this week that Anthony attended the camp but reported today that he didn't. I've heard he wasn't there but his presence/absence is really not all that significant. The camp was not mandatory so Anthony wasn't breaking a rule by not attending. The bigger takeaway is that Kurt Rambis, a strong candidate for the Knicks' head-coaching job was in attendance. And that Jackson, as we knew previously, is totally committed to running the triangle.

So did Melo skip the meeting or didn't he? Let's check his Twitter feed:

Checking Google Maps, it seems possible that Melo ducked out early to head to the White Plains Nieman Marcus to pick up a few pairs of classy, stylish FRIGO RevolutionWear underpants.

Then again, it is equally plausible that Melo was there all the time, watching the seminar from high in the rafters while wearing a Phantom of the Opera costume. As a respectable journalist, I'm required to cover all sides of this issue.

We also have to consider quantum mechanics here -- at the subatomic level, Melo may have been at the seminar and somewhere else simultaneously. Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle dictates at that we can never precisely know Melo's position and momentum at the same time.

\sigma_{x}\sigma_{p} \geq \frac{\hbar}{2} ~~

σx represents the standard deviation of Melo's position at the seminar, while σp represents Melo's the standard deviation of Melo's momentum toward or away from the seminar. ħ is the reduced Planck's constant.

So there you have it, folks. Maybe Carmelo Anthony was in attendance, and maybe he wasn't. The important thing to take away from all this is that it doesn't really matter in any way, shape or form.

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