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Watch 'Porzingod', a film with a sweet-ass painting of Kristaps holding a unicorn

The only film that matters.

Gary Gershoff/Getty Images

What does your faith mean to you? What are the limits of the human capacity to hope? Does Kristaps Porzingis really wear size 16 sneakers? These are the kind of deep philosophical questions director Conor Byrne seeks to answer with his latest short film, Porzingod.

Roman Catholic allegories abound in this taut supernatural thriller about a pair of down-on-their-luck Knicks fans -- is there any other kind of Knicks fan? -- who turn to a mysterious Latvian boy for deliverance. The style and pacing of the work is reminiscent of Ingmar Bergman, if Ingmar Bergman had been unfortunate enough to have loved the Knicks. The antagonist of this film is fate itself ... as well as that punk-ass bitch, Reggie Miller.

What can I say about John Leguizamo's performance as the lead? On a scale of Ice Age to Ice Age: Continental Drift, I'd give it a solid Ice Age: The Meltdown. He's supported by a strong cast, including "Guy who kinda looks like a New York version of Alan Tudyk" and a sweet-ass painting of Kristaps holding a unicorn.

All in all, I'd say Porzingod is a movie well worth the three minutes of your time. I'd give it 4 out of 5 Porzingis put-backs.