Last week New York Mets pitcher Noah Syndergaard paraded himself around Times Square dressed as Thor:
There's only one problem: This city is already the domain of another athlete who dresses like Thor in New York Knicks center Robin Lopez.
There's only one way to settle this, and that is with a good old-fashioned Thor-off.
Now this will a straight Thor-off gentleman, old-school rules -- first athlete Thors, second athlete duplicates and elaborates the Thorage. Each will be judged on 4 categories. Let's get it on!
Noah Seth Syndergaard. "Seth" is a loser-ass name, but it's tough to get any more Scandinavian than "Syndergaard."
Robin Onderdonk Terwilliger Lopez. Not very Scandinavian.
Thor is known for two things: long, flowing blond locks and being massively huge. Syndergaard has the hair, but he's only 6'6", barely taller than Knicks point guard Jerian Grant. We needed someone for a Thor-off, bruh, not a stand-in for Kevin Hart.
Thor has a tough life. His mother was killed by some elves, his homicidal step-brother is currently impersonating his father, his buddy Tony Stark is always screwing things up, and there are all these infinity stones floating around the galaxy that he has to contend with. Sure, he's dating Natalie Portman, but he has to deal with the fact that he will outlive her by like a thousand years.
Robin Lopez understands this.
Knowledge of Norse/Marvel mythology
Let me put it this way: Which one of these dudes do you trust to write "Mjölnir" with the appropriate umlaut? Exactly.
Who do you feel won the Thor-off, faithful readers? Take the poll below.