Happy Horny Day, folks! Friday at high noon we will all tune in to MSG to watch Jeff Hornacek take the podium as head coach of the New York Knicks. It's been a long time coming. We wandered many months through the Kurt Rambis Desert, but we now stand at the edge of the Promised Land, the Land of Milk and Horny. Have I filled out my quota of New York media-mandated "Horny" puns yet? Thank goodness. Let's proceed.
It's not every day your favorite basketball team hires a new head coach ... usually it takes Knicks at least a couple months to cycle through the position. Let us treat this event not only as a celebration of everything not Rambis, but as an acknowledgement of Jeff Hornacek as a basketball lifer ... a coach who combines experience with real potential ... a coach who is very much not Kurt Rambis.
Hornacek means a great deal to me personally. In my college days I used to dabble occasionally in the sport of beer pong. That is me in the headline photo, circa 2004, practicing my patented "flippin' flapjacks" defense (that's when you grab a spatula and dance around in front of the opposing shooter, singing "I'm flippin' flap-JACKS and I'm flippin' flap-JACKS"). When it came time for me to shoot, I looked inward to find an NBA role model to emulate. That role model was Jeff Hornacek. Whenever I sank a shot I would yell "Jeff Hornacek, bitches!" And now he is the coach of my beloved Knicks. Was it fate all along? More likely, it remains the fact that I was (and continue to be) an extremely annoying person.
For me, Jeff Hornacek Day is about the joining of past, present and future -- the beer pong victories of yesteryear become the press conferences of today become the NBA victories of tomorrow. But I am only one man. It is up to each and every one of you, my fellow Knicks fans, to celebrate this glorious moment in your own way. Feel free to use this as your press conference/celebratory thread. Excelsior!