Today, the 4th of July, is a day for America. It's a day to celebrate what makes America great, and to practice the traditions of our illustrious forefathers.
In other words, today is a day for hating on Kevin Garnett and Paul Pierce.
Movingscreen McGoo and his pet turtle may no longer play on the same team, or have much impact on the league, but they still stand for everything this country is against: hating foreigners, pretending to be crippled during the Finals, and being beloved by Boston sports fans in general.
Fortunately, there is one man in the NBA who has long stood his ground against these goblins. His name is Joakim Noah. Though he has yet to play a game for the New York Knicks, he already embodies the kind of Pierce/KG hatred that the franchise stands for:
Joakim shall stand in New York harbor alongside the Statue of Liberty: Give me your rookies, your poor, your huddled masses of Euros yearning to breathe free of Garnett's fake-ass tough guy bullshit.
On behalf of a grateful city (and nation), I say thank you, Joakim Noah. You are already a true Knick.
Joakim Noah clapping at Bosh & Chalmers will forever be my favorite Noah moment https://t.co/z4JqjgbfOg— CJ Fogler (@cjzero) June 30, 2016