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Rare photographs of young Unicorn Kristaps Porzingis in his native habitat

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From the Latvian Bureau of Cryptozoology

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Jeremy Enecio/Fortune

Abstract: Newly uncovered photographs of the juvenile development of the Unicornus Latvius allow for further understanding of the habits and history of the legendary creature.

This Winter, years of research were rewarded with a trove of pictures of a young Unicornus Latvius, largest of the known unicorn species. These photographs, found in a wax-paper envelope sealed with gold and buried underneath the Lailais Kristaps statue in Riga, open a rare window to the crucial developmental years of Uni. L. Thus far, as everyone knows, the only known photographic evidence of a young Uni. L. were taken during the early, braided mane stage (figs. 1, 2). The new photographs show later stages of mane development, as well as iris change and early adult behavior modelling.

Most common knowledge of Uni. L. is sourced to the definitive unicorn monograph Unicornsrule.com; The Website for Unicorn Lovers. This excellent review includes well-documented behaviors: unicorns live in groups of four or five that make up a joyous family; when two unicorn families meet, they express great joy and travel together; and that even if a unicorn is captured, it can never be tamed, but is based solely on study of the adult of the species. These new photographs of a juvenile provide evidence that strongly supports some theories that had previously only been deduced:

  • The unicorn may eat grass and hay, but it really doesn’t need to eat at all. It absorbs its energy from the sun, probably through the horn

Note here the young Uni. L. eying the camera but eschewing the unnecessary hay and grass arrayed in front of him:

  • The unicorn is thought to hold the power to divine truth and will pierce the heart of a liar with its horn

Here the young Uni. L. shows knowledge of the divine truth, both with its piercing gaze and with its chosen protective idol, the one true GOAT, Capra Jordanus, and not false idols Capra Kobe or Capra LeBronae:

  • Unicorns can be any color, from jet-black and brown to dazzling gold, brilliant red or pure white

This juvenile is a beautiful alabaster. Note as well the early eye-stage development which manifests as a red iris.

  • The unicorn’s eyes are sky blue or purple

This photograph of Uni. L. in a slightly later stage shows both the bluing of the eye and a gradual transformation to a more golden coloration:

  • Unicorns are earthbound and do not have wings

Although many popular images of adult Uni. L. appear to be in the air (figs. 3, 4), a series of early pictures show the juvenile far from a desired hoop, straining to take flight but stuck earthbound, and lastly a clearly wingless rear view.

There is also a key picture of the adolescent Uni. L. mimicking its patriarch in what is known as “mirroring.” This offers important insight into how skills and behaviors are transmitted the young.

Finally, the set ends with an exciting mystery. Although unicorns are known to fart and/or poop rainbows (figs. 5, 6, 7) there appears to be evidence of a unicorn creating rainbow bubbles out of its mouth. The mechanism of this phenomenon is still unknown, as is whether it is a trait shared by adults, or if it is exclusive to juveniles of the species.

This newly discovered nonet of photographs allows the field of cryptozoology entirely new information on the mysterious and distant early life of the Unicornus Latvius, and hopefully will aid in understanding this most rare and important species.

(credit all photos The Porzingis family via si.com)