I know it’s April Fool’s Day, but no, the Knicks weren’t playing a cruel joke last night. They really won a game. But hey, c’est la vie. The Knicks can’t even bring themselves to suck properly.
So here’s something cool to listen to while you read... Finally got to listening to Run the Jewels 3 and this song is flaaaaaaames (and the music video is cool too):
Some Knicks things to depress you today
— Frank Isola, who I don’t usually hate as much as your average Knicks fan, just wrote a really stupid column. Like, really damn stupid. Headline: Forget the triangle offense — Knicks’ greatest failure this season may be team defense. NO WAY, FRANK! TELL ME MORE! SEE, I HAD BEEN OPERATING UNDER THE ASSUMPTION THAT THE KNICKS GAVE UP 108 POINTS PER GAME BECAUSE OF THE OFFENSE, AND THEN HERE YOU COME AND BLOW THAT ALL OUT THE WATER. THANKS, BUDDY! KEEP DOING GOD’S WORK!
— Deep breath.
— Chris Childs spoke to Keith Schlosser at the Knicks Blog about not getting invited to the 1999 team reunion on Sunday. The reason? It might surprise you (it won’t):
"I have no idea. I talked to John Starks (whose role is listed as Alumni Relations and Fan Development Advisor) the other day. Allan Houston, Kurt Thomas, and Larry Johnson all have my number. It might have to do with me supporting Charles Oakley. "
GAAHHHHHHHHH DAMMIT CAN THE KNICKS JUST HAVE A FUCKING CHARLES OAKLEY NIGHT ALREADY OR SOME SHIT, WHY’S THIS CLOUD GOTTA HANG OVER CELEBRATING ONE OF THE FUNNEST KNICKS TEAMS EVER?!
— Deep breath.
— Alright, I need to break this up with a little comic relief. Marc Berman last night said he’d rather be covering a tennis match between Roger Federer and tennis bad boy Nick Kyrgios in Miami than the Knicks game. Nick Kyrgios, the guy who actively tanked a match because he was bored.
And then the Knicks went ahead and didn’t tank last night...so clearly, Berman knows something we don’t. Maybe he’s a Time Ranger sent from 2097 to actively sabotage the Knicks while posing as a beat writer. I mean, think about it...he started covering the Knicks sometime in the mid-’90s and things have gone consistently downhill since then. Coincidence? Maybe, but I’m not willing to rule out the evil time traveler thing either. Stay woke.
— Surprisingly, not seeing many Melo hot takes as a result of this:
Carmelo Anthony avoided media from morning to night in Miami. Never appeared in locker room during any of 3 media sessions.— Marc Berman (@NYPost_Berman) April 1, 2017
— A little silver lining to the Knicks winning two of their last three:
Kristaps Porzingis has 20+ points in three straight games.— Daily Knicks (@DailyKnicksFS) April 1, 2017
— Scottie Pippen got on ESPN’s NBA show The Jump and took some shots at Phil Jackson:
After saying “fans would love to see Carmelo in New York and Phil out,” Pippen was asked by host Rachel Nichols if he believes Jackson “should be out.”
“Yes,” Pippen replied emphatically.
— In other Scottie/Knicks news, his classic Nike Air More Uptempo shoe is set to have a retro release in a Knicks-centric colorway with a oh-so-familiar-looking No. 33 on the back:
Not sure what to make of this... It’s a cool, iconic, shoe. But if that’s indeed Patrick’s No. 33 and not Scottie’s, that’s weird. (That said, I’d maaaaaaybe still cop.)
— Stefan Bondy of the NYDN pens a column about how the Knicks and Melo should probably just mutually split this summer. Yawn. Not that I don’t begrudgingly kind of agree at this point (more for Melo’s sake than anything), but doesn’t it feel like one of these columns comes out every couple weeks or so?
— The Knicks Wall had a funny little April Fool’s prank.
— Steve Popper of the Bergen Record doesn’t see the Knicks getting much better in the near future.
— Longtime former Knick Tracy McGrady is a member of the 2017 Basketball Hall of Fame class.