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Kristaps Porzingis trade rumor round-up: Holy crap this might really happen

Please just drop this already, Phil!

NBA: Boston Celtics at New York Knicks Brad Penner-USA TODAY Sports

I have a strong urge to vomit right now, so please excuse the brevity of this post. I can only hold it in for so long.

I don’t need to tell you that the Knicks have been answering calls about trading away Kristaps Porzingis — it’s been the prevailing storyline in a young offseason already rife with intrigue.

What is more concerning, however, is that Phil Jackson appears to be serious about moving our beloved unicorn. Per Frank Isola of the New York Daily News:

Phil Jackson is apparently willing to trade Kristaps Porzingis to a division rival but the Boston Celtics, as of now, are unwilling to meet his asking price, which would include two draft picks the Daily News has learned.

According to a Knicks source, Jackson is asking for the third overall pick in Thursday's draft as well as next year's Brooklyn pick along with Jaylen Brown and Jae Crowder. This version of the deal would not include Boston taking on Joakim Noah's contract.

The Celtics feel the price is far too high but they are open to tweaking the deal to include just one draft pick, either this year's No. 3 or next year's Brooklyn pick.

OK, first off, that offer does not include Danny Ainge’s soul or a new ownership group, so I’m automatically declining this trade. But there’s maybe(?) a glimmer or two of hope here, first from ESPN’s Ramona Shelburne:

Knicks source on Phil right now: "he's dug in. If he doesn't get exactly what he wants, there will be no (Porzingis) trade."

And this from Celtics beat writer Steve Bulpett:

But then there’s this from ESPN’s Marc Stein:

And then this from Ian Begley of ESPN:

And a little weigh-in from Woj:

But at the very least, we can seemingly put the Suns rumors to bed:

Look, I’m not going to lie here, I’m worried as hell that the Knicks are going to trade Porzingis. But ultimately I’m just gonna chug a whole bottle of Pepto Bismol and let the day play out, since there’s nothing I can do about this situation. I hope you all can find the same peace.

Feel free to discuss in the comments, but for fuck’s sake please be civil.

UPDATE (4:49 p.m.): This Tweet-filled antacid comes from ESPN NBA reporter Dave McMenamin: