Jon “Stingy” Schulman here. It’s time for the fairytale basketball playoffs. If you want to see how the draft broke down check out this article here. Over the next couple days, you can vote to get rid of me or someone else. There are six teams, which means three first-round matchups. The matchup winner with the most votes earns a bye to the Finals.

But first let Dillon Dente and I give you a little insight on how we see our teams and what makes them a real winner. Ready?

Jon Schulman, No. 4 seed

Round 1, pick 4 - Kristaps Porzingis (#6)

I’m in a funny spot. What I really want to do is pair Carmelo Anthony and Bernard King but with four picks between my first and second selection I find that extremely unlikely. I’m not as intrigued by just one or the other as I am with King and Melo. I also have serious doubts that Porzingis hangs around and I don’t see any other inside-out offensive weapon that can protect the rim. So I’ll take the kid as my centerpiece and fill in around him.

Porzingis is still largely unproven but that 18 points a game from last season could very easily ratchet up if his guards actually gave a damn or had the ability to find him. Plus if we drive up the tempo, I’m imagining some easier looks with the ball zipping around and guys making aggressive cuts (Bill Cartwright catching up with Porzingis? Lol, nah). Two blocks a game translates just fine. The rebounding is lackluster so I’ll have to fill that out but the depth of bigs makes me feel like there’s good things to come. It’s a big gamble, but I’m happy to make other bigs wade into some very deep water trying to defend this kid while my guards get wider driving lanes.

Round 2, pick 9 - Mark Jackson (#13)

I’m confident that Mark Jackson is the right guard to accentuate Porzingis’ strengths. Not sure there can be a better pair. There aren’t nearly as many good guards as quality bigs so I’m focused on scooping them as quickly as I can. A pass-first-second-and-third point guard who will keep the whole team on the same page and wiggle his way into funky little danger zones? Sign me up. The defense will invariably collapse and Jackson will assuredly find the open man. Or they’ll guess wrong and his array of flippers and floaters won’t have big guys jamming up the lane and contesting them.

In his first season with the Knicks Jackson averaged 13.6 points, 10.6 assists and 2.5 steals. Not to mention he kept things as exciting as they have been in many moons. The New York native certainly knows how to appeal to the crowd and skipper the ship.

Round 3, pick 15 - Michael Ray Richardson (#20)

With this pick I want to bolster my back court. Sugar Ray will do explicitly that. At 6’5” he is a legit two guard but still has the passing chops to double down on Jackson’s exploits, averaging 10.1 assists a game in his second season with the team to go with 3.2 steals. He also brings a little more scoring pop, 17.9 a game in 1981-82. That should take some attention off of Porzinigis. Allan Houston’s knees have fallen into his socks just thinking about having to guard Michael Ray. Good luck, wimp.

Round 4, pick 22 - Marcus Camby (#23)

This is a score. Camby will play above the rim on both ends at a breakneck speed. He’s liable to snag 20 rebounds any given night and his ability to recover and stifle plays on defense is freaky deaky. This Connecticut condor, in tandem with a 7’3” shot blocking Latvian faced vulture is downright terrifying. The only above the rim athlete Dillon really has is Nate Robinson, and good luck with that little rascal trying to ram on 57-feet of arms or whatever.

Round 5, pick 28 - Danilo Gallinari (#8)

A want to fill in my wings with some versatile playmaking and a deep threat. Il Gallo can bang that catch and shoot or attack a long close out and score it or keep the ball humming. He can also switch up on defense when we go small. With this my starting five is in tact and my bench squads can pretty easily morph to make problems for any opponent. I wanted Latrell Sprewell or JR Smith but Gallinari might be a bigger puzzle piece than either of them. He shot .377% from deep as a Knick and contributed little chunks of every stat. Not to mention his gravitas should fit in with my bouncing, jiggling, pass-happy team.

Round 6, pick 33 - Chris Childs (#1)

Time to commit to small ball crimes and start pushing the tempo. Can’t do it without smaller guys who are tough and get into your jersey. Childs also handicaps some of my opponents who either have no guards that can handle the pill or just not much in the way of depth at the position as far as how the draft is panning out. I would also like to take a moment to place the time Childs bop-bopped Kobe Bryant in the throat piece into the Knicks Hall of Fame. So because we get the best version of the guy—one of these pretty little ball players is getting duffed dead in the neck. Maybe Allan Houston needs these hands, quiet-ass pretty dude won’t do shit.

Round 7, pick 40 - Spencer Haywood

Easy opportunity to fortify the front line rotation so we can step up against bigger teams and still match their ferocity. At this point I can’t pass up on Haywood. I’m also hoping Trent Tucker or Wilson Chandler slips by to me in the final round.

Haywood was a little topsy-turvy with the Knicks. In the end he still managed clocked a 19.9 PPG season and chipped in 11.3 boards. Over four seasons with the team he averaged 17.2 and 8.6. Nothing to sneeze at this late in the draft.

Round 8, pick 45 - Charlie Ward

Damn. Tucker and Chandler were my secret weapons and my back up to the back up was Gerald Wilkins. I thought for sure one of them would slide but they all got snagged. At first I thought: "lemme grab Al Harrington, he had a wrinkly head." Turns out Harrington barely played for the Knicks even though it seemed like he was here forever. I panic and take Charlie Ward. At worst it further handicaps someone else (looking at Marceda) and he can sit in the corner and catch and shoot threes. Only reason he gets off the bench is if Childs gets ejected.

Coach: Don Nelson

I hope you’re ready for Nellie-ball because these maniacs are going to run, run, run, run and run. Grab it and go. We’re moving the ball with temerity and dexterity, we’re trusting one another, bombing threes and scrambling for 48 minutes. The goal is to score 150 points every time out. Good luck keeping up.

ROTATION:

Jackson on point.

Michal Ray at two.

Il Gallo for three.

The Flamingo at four.

Camby in the middle.

Spencer Haywood and Chris Childs are dual sixth man.

Charlie Ward gets some spot minutes.

DIllon Dente, No. 3 seed

Round 1, pick 3 - Willis Reed

Best NYK season: 21.1 pts, 14.5 reb, 2.3 ast

Seven times a Knicks all-star, Reed won two championships with the Knicks, the only two they have to date. A Hall-of-Famer, a Knicks lifer, and a BAMF. This was a pretty obvious 3rd pick.

Round 2, pick 10 - Allan Houston

Best NYK season: 19.7 ppg, 3.3 reb, 2.7 ast, 44% 3P%

Two-time all-star for the Knicks and an assassin from deep, Houston compliments my team well as a capable scorer from anywhere on the floor. While Houston didn’t average a ton of assists, he’s still a capable ball-handler and playmaker who can put the ball on the floor, post up, or extended the defense beyond the arc.

Round 3, pick 15 - Bob Mcadoo

Best NYK season: 26.5 ppg, 12.8 reb, 3.8 ast

We are talking about a Hall-of-Famer, two-time all-star, and likely top-100 player all-time as a 3rd round draft pick. A former MVP and 3x scoring champ, the Knicks had incredibly productive seasons from Mcadoo who is playing alongside Willis Reed in this hypothetical lineup. 48 and 28 between those two on any given night, c’mon man.

Round 4, pick 22 - Derek Harper

Best NYK season: 14.0 ppg, 2.5 reb, 4.3 ast, 1.6 steals per game, 37% 3P%

So you’ve got your front court averaging 48 and 28, and a back court that averages 44% and 37% respectively from 3. Derek Harper is here to control the troops and distribute the touches evenly. Although the Knicks acquired Harper slightly past his prime, he was still an all-around threat who could score the ball, get others involved, and most importantly, dig in on defense. The two-time all-defense PG is there to be the paternal figure of the team on the floor, which is evident by his authoritative mustache and no-BS approach.

Round 5, pick 27 - Bill Cartwright

Best NYK season: 21.7 ppg, 8.9 reb, 2.0 ast, 1.2 Blk

Warning: real talk ahead. This is a draft based on what was done, not what we think players might do. The above season of 21.7 ppg, 8.9 reb, and 2.0 assists blows KP’s rookie season away. People were enamored with KP’s potential and his versatility, well KP’s season stats still have yet to match up with Cartwright’s rookie year. The biggest difference people might point out is that KP can shoot, but in case you guys haven’t noticed, KP is under league average from 3 in both of his first 2 seasons. This attack ad on KP isn’t because I don’t have faith in his future, but that’s not what this is about. This is about cold hard facts, and Cartwright got his damn buckets in that rookie year, with almost 9 rebounds to boot, and this is my 5^th ROUND PICK!

Round 6, pick 34 - Willie Naulls

Best NYK season: 25ppg, 11.6 reb, 2.6 ast

Four-time all-star as a Knick and a season that boasted a gaudy 25 points per game with 11.6 rebounds per game. That’s MVP type stuff. My guy averaged a double-double during his seven-year Knicks run.

Round 7, pick 39 - Bill Bradley

Best NYK season: 16.1 ppg, 3.7 reb, 4.5 ast

My 7^th pick is a Hall-of-Famer and two-time champion with the Knicks and my adversary’s top pick hasn’t even made an all-star team year. C’mon son (sorry Stingy, but it’s cold out here on the battlefield).

Round 8 pick 46 - Nate Robinson

Best NYK season: 17.2ppg, 3.9 reb, 4.1 ast

The field was thin at this point in the draft, but the Nate Robinson I drafted was the never-say-die scoring threat that would single-handedly shoot the air out of the ball on his way to 40 points. This is my spark-off-the-bench type guy who will get the crowd involved and infiltrate his teammates’ veins to inject energy, recklessness, and crazy-person into their bloodstream with a dunk over a bigger defender. These types of players are valuable assets to a team!

Coach: Red Holzman

Like, honestly, if my team didn’t do it for you, let’s toss one of the best 10 coaches of all time in there. The only Knicks coach who can say he brought the team to the promised land, and he did it twice. The longest-tenured Knicks coach and the steal of the draft.

I’m rolling with my squad of three Hall-of-Fame players. By my count, no other team had more than two (double-check me on that). For Christ’s sake, I’m bringing Hall-of-Famers off the bench! Stopping a 150-point attack won’t scare me off, my team averages over 160 points per game when all is tallied up. No one knows what will happen this season and beyond. If KP gets traded tomorrow, the top pick of my competitor averaged only 16 and 7. Let’s appreciate the greatest that took place and pump the brakes on the greatest we want to will into existence. This message has been brought to you by New York Basketball Observer AKA Big Dilly Style.

Starters - (C) Willis Reed (HOF), (PF) Bob Mcadoo (HOF), (SF) Willie Naulls, (SG) Allan Houston, (PG) Derek Harper

6th Man - (SF) Bill Bradley (HOF)
First big off the bench - Bill Cartwright
Heat check / spark plug - Nate Robinson