Big Deal: Lebron James said “The Garden”

Lebron James was saying goodbye to Dwyane Wade’s annoying career the other night in Los Angeles. Not that we should care. Then as if we’re allowed to not care, for some unknown reason, they weren’t covering their mouths with their jerseys or towels. While surrounded by more than several camera folks, Lebron said something about where Wade would get to have his farewell matchup.

Stick to reading off the monitor guys! Oh, so, Wade appreciates Los Angeles, with it’s excellent tacos and fiery weather?

Most people are taking this flippant use of a theoretical other place as the Garden where the Knicks play. However new shit has come to light. I have it on a source familiar with every historical situation eternal- and we think it’s pretty obvious now- that the leading favorite for gardens he could have meant was the Boston Garden. Let me put it to you this way: I’ve listened to the Ringer podcast network and a lot of those spanky folks sprechen sie ‘Bron. He almost signed with the Celtics!

Oh for serious? You know, on second thought, my sources thought maybe Lebron meant the Rose Garden. On third thought, sources thought he meant the Olive Garden. Hold on, Chet. He meant Marvin Gardens, with a hotel. That’ll be $1,200 friend-o.

This just in. Sources have told Posting and Toasting that Lebron was talking about his Garden Apartment in Malibu. So it was either Wade plays one last cruddy season and has some annoying farewell tour or he just retires like a gentleman and hangs out in LA at the garden apartment drinking wine and smoking cigars with Gabrielle Union.

Look. This is a non-story. All it does is give me a chance to remember the time Jamal Crawford lit Wade’s jowly head up for 52 points, including 16 consecutive makes in one wild stretch. Way to stumble and bumble, Dwayne. You too Lebron.

Whatever!