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Game Preview: Knicks vs Mavs- 01/30/19

Top of the eaten as food chain!

Here we are germs and squirms, the Knicks (10-39) have the worst record in the NBA. Technically they are still two behind in the loss column on the Cleveland Cavaliers but, oh my. Nothing but clear skies and the open lanes from my vantage.

Naturally the Knicks have just as good of a chance to drop to fifth, or win games and drop to eighth, or hell- maybe Kristaps comes back and they make the playoffs in this, the pitiful East. New Jersey just won 18 of their last 20 or something, you should buy tickets to their games in Brooklyn. Nice soft light and sound in that Barclay Centre. Not to mention the world’s largest shawarma statue at the gate. Whoops, lost my mind for a moment.

So, whatever. The Knicks play Luka Doncic and the Mavericks (22-27) tonight. Luka, my sweet prince, I cannot wait for you to be fed up with your current organization and have your name linked to my pitiful Knicks before demanding a trade either to New York or Los Angeles two years before you officially hit free agency.

Projected Starters

Kadeem Allen ought to start in front of Trey Burke, but what can I do? How can I make that happen? Enes Kanter probably won’t play, isn’t that enough? No. No it is not! I want Trey Burke not to play too.

Cut to Trey Burke sharpening a Player’s Tribune pencil where haters are damned and my feet start to feel the pop and friction of a scorching flame. I am tied to a post in the village square.

Key Matchup

How will the Knicks defend themselves from tabloid journalism who will assuredly say, look, Dennis Smith Jr was great, then he was mad, now he’s a good kid again. Coach Carlisle was a hard ass. It’s so tough to be a successful team, but look the the Mavs they had the guts to go for glory. They traded some junk to fleece the Atlanta Hawks! Why can’t the dumb Knicks do that? Because they’re dumb. Frank Ntilikina has never accomplished anything. He is always dying. Defense doesn’t win championships. Modern NBA. Steph Curry has poisoned the game of basketball. Basketball has food poisoning. Frank’s fault. It’s Phil Jackson’s fault. It’s Scott Perry’s problem. If he doesn’t deal every part, spare part and future asset for Anthony Davis, how can James Dolan be trusted? Enes Kanter is even better than Jahlil Okafor. Who was drafted in front of Kristaps Porzingis, who has since perished. It’s all there, right in front of you!

How do you defend that?!?!


Well it’s going to be the Luka show of course. Rick Carlisle has several Knick players circled on the grease board. Go at him, him, him, him and him. Luka will then go at them, turning bigger defenders in circles, dropping smaller players in holes, stepping back, hesitation and push forward, dump offs, pockets passes. Oh hell, lest we forget, the cross court technician will lace a few for your standardized open corner triplicates.

Knicks by -77, or only -19 years old. You decide.

Warm Up Music