January Mailbag Followup

On the off chance that you are a brand new reader to the greatest Knicks blog in the multiverse (Posting and Toasting), the second-best writer on staff, Professor Matt Miranda, has been answering questions sent by the readers since 2017. He does an amazing job answering a wide range of Knicks questions with elegance and wit, because The Professor kicks ass.

Unfortunately, Prof. Miranda is only one man and simply cannot get to all the questions. This is where I come in. Long are the days where questions go unanswered, as I will be taking the scraps of the mailbag. And I gotta say, some of these questions are pretty, pretty, pretty interesting. Without further ado, let’s commence the inaugural mailbag followup!

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1. What’s our starting 5 next season?

— marcus7

This is dependent upon whether or not the Knicks win the lottery. If the Knicks get the number one pick, as much as we all want Zion on the team, there are alarms going off in the back of my head that make me believe the pick is going somewhere else for a star player. I know there is so much buzz about Anthony Davis to the Lakers and Celtics, but no combination of Laker young players is better than Zion, and the Celtics cannot trade for Davis until July 1, 2019.

This, of course, would only happen if Kevin Durant told New York through back channels he’s coming this offseason. Man, who am I kidding. None of this is happening. The Knicks will wind up getting the third pick, select Ja Morant because he’s exactly the type of guard the Knicks value, and the starters will be Morant, Hardaway, Knox, overpaid Vonleh, and Porzingis.

2. Probably a dumb question. Fizdale said this in London today:

"We’ll try to do it in a way that doesn’t have them on their feet a lot,” Fizdale said of the planned outings. “But they gotta see all of that. They gotta experience it. The whole beauty of this is learning about new culture, new food, new everything. You gotta open up your mind.”

Does he think he is actually in outer Mongolia? It is London, for chrissake! It looks and feels more like new york than does Milwaukee.

— cynickfan

This isn’t a dumb question at all, cynickfan. I have not traveled to London yet, but plan to in the near future — so I’m the best expert you got at this moment. Given that the Knickerbockers are based in New York City, it does seem like a very odd thing to say about London. Outside of them speaking with a funny accent, large, global cities from English colonizing nations do share a lot of commonalities. Maybe the Indian food is better in London? I know that the pizza certainly isn’t. It’s a bizarre comment for sure.

3. Knicks trade Zach Randolph, Jamal Crawford to free up space to go after Lebron James or Chris Bosh or D Wade?

Can the knicks bring in any of these players and if so which one is likely to be a knick?

— Account deleted, so no name

This is one of the most ridiculous plans that can be done by this team. Then again, there is at least some logic to it and this team has been void of logic since James Dolan bought the team. Trading players by attaching picks and the like for the sake of cap space is flat-out dumb. Hoping LeBron James signs with a team that has no legitimate players to play with or hoping Dwyane Wade leaves the Miami Heat is delusional. You know what’s going to happen? New York is going to strike out and throw away a giant amount of money to anyone who’s willing to take it and everything that ensues after is 100 percent going to backfire.

4. The New York Knicks trade so they can get Andrea Bargnani?

The Knicks were bad at defense and rebounding last season and good on offense. The Knicks trade three point specialist Steve Novak, Marcus Camby, and draft picks for a guy that has suffered from injuries, good on offense for a 7’0 tall guy, but bad at defense and rebounding. Novak was not that good at defense but good 3-point shooter off the bench and Camby did not play that much but for Andrea Bargnani? What do you guys think of this trade?

— Account deleted, so no name

See, these aren’t just “draft picks” for a guy with two years and $23 million left on his contract. They are a 2016 first-round pick and two second-round picks, one in 2014 and the other in 2017. Bargnani has played a combined 66 games over the past two seasons, shot 30.2 percent from three over those games despite being a “three-point shooter,” and is arguably the worst defensive big man in the NBA right now. AND THEY GAVE TORONTO THREE DRAFT PICKS FOR HIM!

Everyone in the Knicks from office needs to be fired immediately and then the league needs to take the team away from James Dolan. Knowing the Knicks luck, that 2016 first-round draft pick is going to play a role in the Raptors getting a legit superstar down the road. And because of this deal, watch Dolan chicken out on any future deals with Masai Ujiri because he doesn’t want to get swindled again. I hope one day that the Knicks stop trading away draft picks and get a top-five pick that becomes a superstar.

5. @MelKiperESPN What’s the likelihood of Arizona making a trade out of #1?

— Pete

The Arizona Cardinals are in a tricky spot. The consensus number one prospect right now is Kyler Murray, but Arizona already has Josh Rosen. The Cardinals are either going to take Quinnen Williams from Alabama or trade back with the New York Giants to acquire future draft picks. The Giants need a quarterback of the future and Kyler Murray is that guy.

6. My boyfriend shoplifts and he wont stop what do I do as the girlfriend?

I’m in my first relationship. (I’m 18) My boyfriend is 24. I’m learning he enjoys shop lifting and he does it when we go to malls. How do I get him to stop? I tried telling him its morally wrong and he wont listen. He once even put items in my purse without me looking. He keeps calling me a “bad girlfriend” for trying to make him stop. What can I do as a good girlfriend? I want to be supportive but at the same time be the voice of reason in this situation. :(

— Anonymous

No wonder you wanted to keep your identity anonymous, because this is quite embarrassing. Your boyfriend is 24 and still shoplifting stuff at the mall, and he’s telling you that you’re being a “bad girlfriend” because you’re telling him to stop?!

Listen, Anonymous, you need to support him by getting out of this relationship yesterday. This guy is a loser. Cut ties with him now before you get caught up in his bullshit and something happens to you that you regret. You deserve better than this chump. Dump his ass!

This is also the same advice I have for the Knicks and Enes Kanter. Stop waiting for a trade to materialize because no team is giving anything of any value to get him. It’s not happening, so rip the bandage off now because it only get worse as he continues to be on the team.

7. I think CELEBS have below than average looks?

Is that weird? I mean if I go to my local university or gym, I think I would find a handful of cute guys and pretty women. So somehow Kim Kardashian is supposed to be hot as helI. Cardi B, Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, Travis Scott all look like average people to me. Even though they are supposed to be glamorous. Even they have all that make up on and photoshop pics . Does anybody agree with me?

— Amy

No, Amy, I do not agree with you. Celebrities have below average looks? C’mon now. You’re telling me that Michael B. Jordan and Idris Elba are below-average looking and aren’t FOINE as hell? You’re telling me that Gal Gadot and Halle Berry aren’t gorgeous? You’re telling me that you don’t get excited when you see a shirtless Brad Pitt wearing a cowboy hat in Thelma & Louise? Jessica Alba and Paul Walker swimming in the ocean in Into the Blue does nothing for you?

I think I made my point.

Also, Frank Ntilikina is the best looking player on the Knickerbockers and it’s not particularly close. And this does have me thinking this: is Frank Ntilikina the best looking Knick in the history of the team?

8. And this does have me thinking this: is Frank Ntilikina the best looking Knick in the history of the team?

— Drew Steele

Great question, Drew. Since I haven’t had much time to truly do the proper research necessary, I going to give a somewhat of a cop-out answer of “I don’t know” and allow this conversation to be continued in the comment sections. Ntilikina is definitely up there, as is a young Clyde Fraizer. You can make the argument for Melo, Allan Houston, and Willy Hernangomez too, but Willy has some tacky, gross back tattoo and that should disqualify him. But I’m gonna go with the French Prince.

9. Mixing muscle relaxants and alcohol?

I know it’s not recommended but is it dangerous? Anyone have experience. I don’t mind if it makes me sleepy - I’m just in a lot of pain but I have drank a few beers tonight - can I take a robaxcet?

— Anonymous

Since I am the only medical professional here at Posting and Toasting, I can say with full confidence that drinking some wine and taking a muscle relaxant is an excellent way to have a wonderful night’s sleep.

(Editor’s Note: Drew is not a medical professional and we at Posting and Toasting do not in any way recommend this. DO NOT listen to Drew when it comes to medical advice. Go to an actual doctor.)

10. What would your childhood self be excited about if they got a peek into your future self right now?

— IIllllllllllIIllllII

This is a tough question because I’m not entirely sure. I think more than anything else, my childhood self would be disappointed by peeking into what life as an adult actually looks like. Sure, he would be impressed by the amount of money I have to spend on myself, and that video game graphics are absolutely amazing, and that I have the autonomy to do “whatever I want” and not be bound to parental rules.

But the level of disappointment he would have in me would be high, because he isn’t a professional athlete, or isn’t a sports writer giving his takes on Around the Horn, or is actually living in Boston. As children, we have lofty dreams of grandeur that are impossible for the vast majority of us to fulfill. And if you have Baby Boomer parents, they reinforce this mindset of individual exceptionalism that distorts reality for so many of us. I’m not special; I’m never going to be an athlete or get paid to become a well-respected sports writer, and that’s perfectly fine.

As a child, you don’t understand that not having to stress over bills, finding that go-to Chinese takeout spot, and finding someone to share your life with are what helps keep you going in a shitty world, filled with shitty people who want to build walls that won’t work and mock Native American elders who are more American than they will ever be. My childhood self may be disappointed, but I would tell him that he will have a wife and two cats that love him dearly, he no longer lives in New Jersey, and he somehow got people to read this article.

Life is pretty good.