Cavaliers 108, Knicks 87: Scenes from the return of Francis the Vomiting Man

Did you honestly believe that the New York Knicks could go two games in a row without embarrassing themselves. I’ll keep it real: I kinda did. Friday night’s triumph over Dallas had to carry over at least a little bit, right? And it’s not like Sunday’s opponent, the Cleveland Cavaliers, are an elite club. We should at least be competitive, right? Right?

Instead, we got Franics. Hello Francis.

The Cavs ran away with this one early, stomping a 31-19 first-quarter mudhole in the Knicks. The offense was a mess, essentially handing the ball to the Cavs on several occasions with botched dribble hand-offs. Cleveland has undoubtedly the worst defensive backcourt in the league, so how did the Knicks attack? You guessed it: with a bunch of Julius Randle post-ups, spineroos, and flippity-farts. When Randle grew tired of sucking, Bobby Portis was called off the bench to continue his work.

The Knicks — supposedly a professional basketball outfit — managed just 36 points at the half. In the year of our Lord 2019.

The Cavs built the lead to 30 in the third quarter before New York mounted a bit of their patented bullshit fake comeback. Damyean Dotson played some meaningful minutes and was pretty good, I guess? Whatever.

No recap tonight. Let’s purge this from our collective memories.