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Game Preview: Knicks @ Mavs, 11/8/2019

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New York looking to bring Kristaps Porzingis a bagel.

Get your hating muscles lathered up. No loads will be managed today, leave it all out there. You’re getting a ton of floor time because former Knick head, Kristaps Porzingis, is squaring up against the new Knicks team that has the same problems as when he played for New York. A place he never truly wanted to be, and ultimately ran from, because he’s super Hollywood.

Pordingus never got his wish, instead Scott Perry sent his flat ass to Dallas where he’ll fit in seamlessly with the toxic culture Mark Cuban has fostered.

Get the ice in the freeze. Make sure you get that mid day nap in. Maybe drink your beverage of choice. Strap up and stretch out.

HATE HATE HATE! Flamingo head ass.


Projected Starters

Who knows who starts when David Fizdale is the skipper. He’ll probably start Bobby Portis and Lou Amundson. I know I want those palookas coming off the bench because I need Marcus Morris checking Krispy Doodoolips.

WHOM! You fuckin’ chump.

No Mitchell Robinson for New York, he’s out with a concussion. Dennis Smith Jr. is about ready to return but according to Fizzy Womack, DSJ will be eased back into the rotation. I’m sure he’d love a crack at his old team, but that will have to wait.

That probably means we’ll wait until Frank Ntilikina gets his first break and Dennis will still be in the game, dragging ass, for the ensuing 39 minutes.

Key Matchups & Predictions

I wonder if Jalen Brunson and JJ Barea are gonna pick and roll the Knicks second unit to torture-death. I don’t wonder this.

So what we should really focus on is the first nine minutes of the game, before Frank is entirely removed from the rotation for the rest of the season. Frank tends to do a really good job on those crafty ball dominators that use sleight of hand and clever footwork to bend jumpier defenders a little past their breaking point. Enter Luka Doncic, who is just such a caretaker of the pill. The thing with Doncic is that he has more chonk than your average NBA lead guard. The big test will be to see if Ntilikina can challenge Doncthicc’s chubby bunnies without fouling. We all know Puddledipstick ain’t setting no damn screen.

Did I mention the second unit? Something tells me Tim Hardaway Jr. is gonna light their stanking asses up for 35 points on 12 shots.

Knicks by -8.

Warm Up Music

AIR HIS ASS OUT!

Latvian players always bums.