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Game Preview: Knicks at Kings, 12/13/2019

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Best not miss.

It’s Friday the 13th Night Knicks, we gotta get to Sacramento. Does Jason Thompson still play for the Kings? Probably got that Bobby Bonilla deal. If Jason Williams were to have his jersey retired, it’s probably with the Kings right? Jason Hart played for the Kings, he must be out of the league by now, right? Short-lived career, like most Syracuse alums. Bad program, that. The Knicks had Jason Smith and Jason Kidd. Not that many Jasons out there on the NBA sprawl. Most Jasons seem to be Williams’. Is Jason the worst name there is? Can you pair “Jason” with an interesting surname? Obviously that answer is no. “Jason” will just drag an otherwise interesting surname onto the basic ground where the drunks piss.

Like I was saying, the Knicks (5-20) continue to travel their asses off. This time to Sacramento. Capital city of the state of California, producer of almonds, abusers of water. The Kings (11-13) absolutely pantsed the Knickerbockers at the beginning of November. At one point the Knicks were down by 32. It was the first stitch pulled from David Fizdale’s inseam. Remember this?


Projected Starters

Yea I don’t know if this is right but it sure seems like Elfrid Payton’s basic competence across the board and willingness to seize an occasional moment is going to win out over Frank Ntilikina’s defensive acumen and boyish charm. They say it’s not who starts but who finishes. Yea the bitchliest idiots say shit like “I don’t start fights, I finish ‘em.” Sorta feels like the same deal here. Bet on the guy that is more likely to throw some punches.

Thankfully no De’Aaron Fox for Sacramento. He drives too fast anyway! Cory Joseph is probable. Wayne Ellington and Reggie Bullock remain out for the Knicks while Dennis Smith Jr. is probable. As in probably gonna sit his ass on the bench for the whole game cus he don’t got it, folks. Keith Smart really did a number on that kid.

Keys & Predictions

Robert Randolph sings the intro? Yea, thats a schedule loss. The Kings seemed doomed to fail when both Marvin Bagley and Fox were lost to injury. Then Richaun Holmes burst onto the scene. Zipping and slipping around, Holmes has been a fantastic play finisher on both sides of the ball for the Kings. Now that Bagley is back it could free up Holmes to be even sneakier!

Which Knick is going to sink off and let him get that push shot off cleanly? My bet is Bobby Portis and Julius Randle will both do it all game. Taj Gibson is ready for it, but jumps out and gets stuck in sand as Holmes steers around him for layups and dunks. Mitchell Robinson fouls him a few times. If Julius is matched up on Holmes, let’s just turn it off and reconvene on Sunday when the Knicks get to exact revenge on the Nuggets, who got their pal Fizdale shit canned.

I can see all the footwork and effort plays on both ends now. Holmes steps around Randle for an easy reverse. Randle sags off and Holmes flops out a push shot and sinks it. Like a doody that plunges untethered into the cold toilet water and splashes across your flanks. Randle tries to fight back the only way he knows how, whirling around and toppling over right in front of a chuckling Holmes who knowingly stood off to the side.

Despite the chance to get their first two-game win streak... Knicks by -14.

Warm Up Music

No matter what happens, they didn’t get swept on the road trip.