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Game Preview: Knicks at Wizards, 12/28/2019

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We are all a FARTDOG raised by scimitars.

This decade is coming to a close with the Knicks having been fugly from every angle. Your incredulous Knicks friend will claim that the 2012-13 season was a marvel. Indeed there were moments of pure joy on an almost nightly basis. It all started with Amar’e Stoudemire slapping together the most consecutive 30-point games in Knicks history.

Then, in a trade, the Knicks gutted their roster for pending free agent Carmelo Anthony. It was a caution sign for things to come. Not all was bad but you just knew this team might come up short if it didn’t click perfectly into place.

Due to injuries, clunky fits and your everyday NBA muesli of issues the best of times never got where we all hoped they could go.

Weight shifted, and we hopped over to Jeremy Lin for the most positively vibrating stretch of basketball that New York has seen since Patrick Ewing was stomping through the paint. It was honestly the most incredible sensation to cruise through the city and everyone is buzzing, dizzy over Jeremy’s incredible run. We’ll always have it.

My favorite Knick characters this past decade were Pablo Prigioni and Steve Novak. I even made a video tribute to Novak’s excellence.

I still can’t get over this master blaster from Mr. Sneaky himself to JR Smith.

The other highlight of the decade that I’ll never ever forget:

Inevitably the team broke up. Parts have been auctioned off since time immemorial. They got draft picks, they didn’t have picks. They signed saviors, they signed false prophets. New management, new coaches, rinse, repeat. Horrible loss after horrible loss. We’ve gone through it.

The most recent horrible loss was just last week when the Knicks (8-24) got punched in the nose by a Wizards (9-21) team missing practically their entire unit. They’ve been rinsed, now let’s see if this is a repeat.

Projected Starters

The Wizards are still busted way up by the injury bug. Sharpshooter and best Latvian player in the NBA, Davis Bertans, is still out with a quad injury. Rookie Rui Hachimura will miss again with a groin issue. Thomas Bryant practiced with the team but remains out. The wild thing is that now the Wizards are uncertain about their main doo doo stain, Bradley Beal.

Just the fact that he is going for an MRI at all seems bad. For them.

Meanwhile, New York is floating along with their basic health, doing relatively the same as they have all year. Reggie Bullock and Wayne Ellington are bumped up. Dennis Smith Jr. is out with a strained oblique. Oddly enough that sounds like it could be a description of his season so far: “strained, oblique.” The only new wrinkle is the potential absence of wunderkind Mitchell Robinson, whose left greater toe has been bothering him. I’ve always thought toe problems are worse than finger problems and lead to bigger issues. I’m not a doctor, but I’m probably right.

Keys & Predictions

If he plays, Beal is the guy they need to stop. Unfortunately, the Knicks had no idea how to stop Troy Brown Jr. last week and likewise Anzejs Pasecniks, the second-best Latvian NBA player, skewered the Knicks’ interior. Bobby Portis took exception for no reason at one point wrestling for the ball with Pasecniks about four minutes after the whistle was blown. That sort of fake tough stuff is obnoxious and it’s not gonna help Bobby’s value in trade.

Can they figure a way to cover their bases against the high-powered Wizards offense? Will Gary Payton Jr. claw the ball free from all the poor shooting, scared drivers on the Knicks roster? Can the Knicks win two in a row under Mike Miller for the second time? Can they actually maintain focus in consecutive games??

Knicks by 1.

Warm Up Music

To hell with this decade. From hell to the next! May the Knicks swarm over the league. Smashing their clean slate into jagged shards, to be used for weaponry in the post apocalypse. RAISE YOUR SCIMITAR!

CHARGE!