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Game Preview: Knicks vs Lakers, 3/17/2019

Happy St. Patty’s Day!

Coffee’s up, If you been up, this here’s a fresh pot. Get that hippie speedball fuzzing. Oh wait, you’re already drunk? Gross.

The Knicks (13-56) are scratching their newts and rolling out of bed to face the Lakers (31-38). Last time they played in LA, the Knicks blitzed the Lakers and were able to hold on for a win. Those were decidedly different teams. It was before the deadline, and the Knicks still had a little bit of scoring pop with Tim Hardaway Jr. and Luke Kornet. The Lakers didn’t have Lebron James, who remains talented. Shortly after both teams went to the trade market. Knicks arguably successfully, Lakers less so.

Projected Starters

I don’t know what the Lakers are up to, and frankly neither do they. Them missing the playoffs is pretty gucci. That’s all ya need to know. Oh and Lebron is on a minutes restriction and Lonzo Ball and Brandon Ingram are officially done for the year. Hopefully they get well soon and make full recoveries.

For New York, the more important franchise, Kadeem Allen did a nice job playing the role of Emmanuel Mudiay in San Antonio. Big Mud did a terrible job playing the role of Dennis Smith Jr. so we will wish him away. Poof! You’re gone with the wind.

Re-evaluate this!

[insert gif of Kristaps Porzingis stretching his toe like a ninny]

Dump the chump! The chump is Mudiay.

Key Matchup

If you pick up the ball before Lebron does, you should be fine. Oh wait, David Fizdale is going to put Lance Thomas on Lebron. Nevermind. Where is Travis Wear when you need him?

I can’t deal. Let us remember a simpler time:

We’re almost out of here folks.


A trouncing! Ah, but which way will it go? I think it’s safe to say Mitchell Robinson will block Lebron at the rim. Then Lebron will be all mad and start ripping Kevin Knox and Lance Thomas to shreds.

Knicks by -16.

Warm Up Music

Got to make Sunday funky, ya’ll.