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Game Preview: Utah @ New York, 3/20/2019

Will never get over this place having a team called “Jazz”.

Hey, there is basketball to be had, yet here you are. What is the matter with you!? Don’t worry this season is effectively in hospice. We’re going to take care of you and make these final games restful and stress free.

The Utah Jazz (41-29) are lindy-hopping into New York (14-57). Certainly they’ll stomp on out with a W if they want it. Utah is sitting seventh in the Western Conference. Squarely in the playoffs but a mere two games off of the fourth place Trail Blazers who just lost CJ McCollum for what could be an extended shelving.

If you pay close enough attention, you can feel the vitriol of the nearest Blazers fan bubbling up as Enes Kanter tries to take over a game. He forces his way into momentum-crushing post ups while Damian Lillard patiently waits for a screen 28 feet from the hoop. He is the voodoo in their donut.

Whats the old saying? The Knicks stay the Knicks. Once a Knick, always doing something dumb to drive people completely crazy. Ah forget it, who can even keep up?

Projected Starters

Mr. Pain au Chocolat himself, the Sultan of Swipe, Frank Ntilikina, is listed as questionable. What else matters?

Key Matchup

Get some, ya pan fried string bean face ass.

STFU, Wally.


Oh lord it’s a beatdown courtesy of the Suckin’ Salt Dance Team. Utah is so white they gotta put sour cream on their toast, or else it’ll be too spicy. Taste buds aside, they’ll take this one handily. Coming off a drubbing from the Raptors, New York has realized that they should just go out like a lamb here.

Knicks by -21.

Warm Up Music