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Raptors 117, Knicks 92: Scenes from basically the ending of Jurassic Park, but everyone dies

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Y’know, where the raptors open doors and stuff

NBA: Toronto Raptors at New York Knicks Noah K. Murray-USA TODAY Sports

At the ending of the movie Jurassic Park, the velociraptors more or less just fuck shit up and almost murder everyone.

Tonight’s game was just like that, except the kids’ clever hiding in the kitchen didn’t work and they both died. And Laura Dern didn’t narrowly avoid getting eaten, she straight up got ate. And Geoff Goldblum got eaten too. Sorry, Lost World fans.

Yeah, the Raptors mauled and ate the Knicks tonight to the tune of a 117-92 final score. It wasn’t pretty right from the start. The Knicks hung in until the score was 12-11 in the first quarter, and the Raptors ripped off a 7-0 run. That was basically the end right there.

But hey, silver linings. Mitchell Robinson somehow survived this bloodbath, notching an impressive double-career-high double-double with 19 points and 21 rebounds to go with two blocks. The young cajun was truly all over the place, and put together what was probably his best effort of the season, getting after every loose ball and truly doing whatever he could to try to make this game respectable.

Mitch also jut continued to set records left and right:

Let’s see, um... Oh, yeah. Kadeem Allen survived the raptor attack, too. He could be our Sam Neill in this scenario I guess. Kadeem walked away with 18 points on 6-9 shooting, once again proving that he’s probably a player in this league.

And, uh... yeah. That’s about it for positives. The Kawhi-less Raptors once again annihilated the Knicks. I honestly don’t have too much more to say about this one, because Shwinny is going to go off in the recap. So I’ll leave you to KnicksFanTV if you feel like calling them up and venting: