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Game Preview: Knicks vs Bulls, 2/29/2020

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Even on Leap Day, the Knicks won’t take a leap.

Today is all about games. The Knicks (17-42) got a game against the Bulls (20-39). It’s not quite the home stretch but damn if you can’t almost feel the first group of playoff bulbs starting to germinate. That seems like the perfect time to lock yourself indoors and play some video games or whatever.

This is why we play or whatever.


Projected Starters

The Bulls are pretty banged up here with ten guys on the injured list. It all starts with sharpshooting slasher, Max Strus, who has been out since last year and probably won’t be back until next year with a torn ACL. Former Knick legend, Luke Kornet, is out after hurting both his foot and his ankle in practice. Otto Porter got a foot thing. Kris Dunn has a strained MCL. Lauri Markkanen bashed his pelvis. Those fools and Chandler Hutchison are all out.

Then there’s the questionable Bulls bros, Wendell Carter Jr. (who has been out), Coby White (back’s out), Denzel Valentine (out to lunch). Lastly we have the probable Chicagoan, Tomas Satoransky, he’s got a sprained left thumb there.

The Knicks have seen enough and their future is Elfrid Payton, Dennis Smith Jr. and Allonzo Trier. Sadly for the future, DSJ has a concussion again so he’s out. That leads us to Frank Ntilikina, who is conisdered probable with his chronic groin pull. I assume Damyean Dotson will be kept out despite perfect health. Taj Gibson is also listed as probable after missing the Sixers game with a back spasm. Gotta get Taj back out their to assemble 13-17 minutes of basic competence that neither helps develop Mitchell Robinson, nor hinders the team’s unwillingness to put their best unit on the floor together.

Keys & Predictions

Are you ready for the Shaq Harrison game? It’s about to maul your favorite team. This here is the thrash and panic game. Harrison is going to mash the X button all damn day and you’re gonna be supes mad but what can ya do? Then you can expect the Zach Lavine iso bummer brigade. Why can’t everyone just play like Tomas Satoransky? Is he too predictable? We already know what Elfrid’s gonna do.

Gonna touch the ball constantly and score the ball nonstantly.

Knicks by -12.

Warm Up Music

Listen to this Knicks rotation management head ass Rage Against the Machine basketball video game music from my youth. It’s no Tecmo NBA, but shit... probably better off for it. This is the year that they started having the players shoot lefty if indeed they were left handed.

We’ve covered quite a bit of distance. You got other favorite basketball video game songs? There has never once been a good song made for an NBA2k soundtrack, so please don’t include those, you uncultured yogurts. I’m partial to the NBA Jam title screen music.