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Game Preview: Knicks @ Heat, 3/13/2020

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It is Friday the 13th!

As you know the NBA season has been suspended. The Knicks (21-45) were supposed to play the Heat (41-24) tonight in Miami. Since events are on hold but life is not, we got together in the P&T slack and said, hell or high water, we got to keep the band together.

It’s been sad times and we weren’t all on the same page about how to get this done for a while. Some of us are more destructive than others.

So, who knows if we can pull it off. Can we keep this thing right on rocking? Time will tell. But tonight we’re gonna just try and have a little fun and broadcast a game of NBA 2k on Twitch. I’m sure the 2k purists will be aghast at the lack of professionalism, and I’ll be honest, you’re a horrible cornball. Instead of a game being played, we’ll be playing a game.

Yes, it’s true! Tonight’s matchup will be Callous Alex Wolfe versus yours unruly, Jon-Jon Schul-Schulman-man. Will it be good? I dunno. No? Will it be fun? Not for you! Suckers! Bring your big P&T pants on down to the game thread or the stream chat. I don’t know. Let’s stay together, in our social distancing times, that’s what matters. Half time snack threads all game long! Roast us!

Projected Starters

After winning the coin toss, Alex elected to play with the Heat. Leaving me, a friendly hood with a catchy ‘cabulary, to be the team we all dream about. Everyone should be healthy right? It’s just a dumb game.

I’m not starting Elfrid Payton, that much you can be sure of.

Keys & Predictions

I’ve played my fair share of the career mode, but mostly am a cute lil’ park pigeon. Pooping on cheeser windshields, trying to find the low stakes game where everyone likes passing and rotating on defense. When it comes to me, there’s no interest in actually learning how to be good at 2k. That just sounds downright awful. I pass time with it, and angry young boys with their genitals in a violent twist cry in my inbox about how deeply trash I am comparatively. I let them know their diapers are leaking. We move on.

Now, Mr. Wolfe. Winston, Alex, whatever. Seems to me, the kid knows the team mode or whatever you call it. Maybe he has a sense of the timing on some of these digital shot meters and crap. He’ll know how to make subs on the fly, maybe call plays. That’s all gonna be new to me. So my gut says, much like reality, the good guys are gonna be playing from behind against a mightier opponent.

Knicks by -39.

Warm Up Music