Despite all the rumors that the Knicks want to trade for Chris Paul, I’ll have none of it. I’m here to plant the flag on Chris Paul’s-a-bum Island. Word on the street is he finished seventh in MVP voting this year. Great, good job, smooth effort, Chris. I suddenly want to trade several assets in order to obtain your diminishing assets.
Chris Paul, who @shwinnypooh says the Knicks should definitely never ever trade for, finished 7th in NBA MVP voting.— Mike Vorkunov (@MikeVorkunov) September 18, 2020
Dunking on Shwinny is well and good. I’m not upset about that. You know what else is seventh about Chris Paul? He has seven first round exits in the playoffs. He’s the 7th oldest player in the league. He’s on his seventh team. He has the seventh highest salary in the NBA, if you count Kevin Durant and Kyrie Irving as one person, which you should. And most importantly, he’s gonna be battling with Seventh Woods for seventh man in the rotation of a seventh seed playoff flameout some Sunday in seven sets of seven months.
So look, buster, you hate to hear the truth, because you think you know it all but that fact of the matter is Chris Paul should be treated like the shitter side of a stinking vagabond. Now if you accept Chris Paul into your cap space and don’t give up any assets, then I’ll change my tune and all the lies I just told you can be laughed away. As it stands now, trading for this mope by jettisoning young, undeveloped talent is what will make the Knicks the fools everyone says they are.
So again, allow me to reiterate, Chris Paul is a bum, unless the Knicks get him for free. Nobody remembers the seventh runner up, unless they are a Derrick Rose stan. Who had seven knee surgeries. I am the king opinion haver, bring me your riches. Goodbye!
If you want to be king one day, you’ll hate on Chris Paul.