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Five. What a concept. Most people have five fingers and toes. Tornadoes and hurricanes go up to five, at least so far. Some people claim to have more sense than that, but there, too, five is a popular destination. There are five Home Alone movies and five House Party flicks. The two greatest Davids in Mets history both wore the number. This past season, the New York Knicks played five playoff games.
It is perhaps entirely appropriate in this weird-ass money-grab of a season that the Knicks losing in the first round in five games is both an accomplishment no one could have predicated while also being a disappointment. No one saw the team playing as well as they did in the regular season and no one who did could have guessed how bad they’d look in their series against Atlanta. Some year.
In honor of the year that was and the five playoff games they played, here is a little quiz to test your Knicks statistical acumen. Have fun looking back at a fun season before you dive into an offseason of draft hot takes and so-called serious pieces like “How RJ Barrett Can Avoid Becoming Jeff Green” (already writing it, loves). All the answers and scoring grades come at the end of the test.
Questions
1) At 250 pounds, Julius Randle was the biggest Knick, in terms of weight. Who was second?
2) Two Knicks weighed in at less than 200 pounds. Who were they?
3) You already know that Randle led the Knicks in points, rebounds, assists, field goal attempts and and-ones. He was also the highest-paid Knick. You pro’ly know Barrett was second in those five categories. Can you tell which Knicks were third in each?
4) Who led the Knicks in dunks? Bonus: who were second and third?
5) Who led the team in offensive fouls drawn?
Answers
1) Mitchell Robinson is second-biggest at 240 pounds. You know Mitch is listed as the same height and weight Patrick Ewing was? That will never make sense to me.
2) Immanuel Quickley (190) and Elfrid Payton (195).
3) Points: Quickley
Rebounds: Nerlens Noel
Assists: Payton
Field goal attempts: Payton (a galling truth)
And-ones: Payton
Salary: Derrick Rose (Joakim Noah is 4th!)
4) Mitch (one dunk every 10 minutes), Noel (one every 20 minutes) and RJ (every 65).
5) Barrett
Results
Zero correct answers = You’re a Nets fan, drunk and carousing the interwebs after your second-round exit at the hands of Milwaukee. Find a couch you can crash on and put on a pot of fresh coffee. It’s gonna be a long offseason, Ishmael.
One correct = Your fandom is an Elfrid Payton stat line most nights: yes, there’s something there, and something isn’t nothing, but sometimes something’s not much more than nothing.
Two correct = Playoff Randle. We know there’s more to you than you showed. We still like you.
Three correct = RJ. Solid. More than respectable. Bodes well for your past, present and future.
Four correct = Frank Ntilikina that one game a year where he makes four 3s and plays straitjacket D. Where did you come from and why isn’t there more of you in my life?
Five correct = Regular-season Randle. You’re simply the best. Better than all the rest.
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